Jokes Time!!!

(1)
One day an evil witch took over the forest,
''One-by-one, all of you useless animals have to come up here
and tell a joke... if everybody laughs, you will be spared... or else I'll cut off your head!''

The monkey went up first and told such a funny joke that all the
animals laughed except for a tortoise.. so the witch cut off his head.

Next, a giraffe went up and she, in turn told a joke that set
all the animals off laughing... but still, the tortoise did not
laugh... so the witch cut off her head.

Then, the rabbit went up... but before she could say a word, the
tortoise started laughing....

''Why are you laughing you stupid tortoise?'' the witch asked.

''The monkey's joke was very funny!'' was the reply.....

wauahhahahaaa....

(2)
One day, Mr. Caterpillar decided to hitch a ride to town. As he
was standin by the roadside, a family of bees came by in a little
car and offered him a ride.

Gratefully, he accepted. After putting along merrily for a few
kilometers,the engine sputtered and the car rolled to a halt. Without saying a word, Papa Bee alighted and urinated into the fuel intake. When he turned the starter, the engine started up much to MrCaterpillar's amazement!

However, he did not say a word. The car went on for quite some
distance before e engine died again. This time, it was Mother Bee who urinated into e fuel intake, and again, the car started up after that.

The process was then repeated again for Baby Bee.

By the time the engine died for the fourth time, the little car
was only a few kilometers from town. Not wanting to appear unsophisticated, Mr Caterpillar got out of the car without a word, and started opening the fuel cap.

In a flash, Papa Bee got out of the car. "What are you doing?"
asked Papa Bee.

"I'm going to piss in the fuel intake, just like you did", said
Mr Caterpillar.

"Oh, no", said Papa Bee patiently, "that won't do. This car only
runs on Bee Pee (BP)."

wauauhahahahaaa....